NeWW =)

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i wouldn't change the past for anything
i wouldn't change the way i felt, the things i did,
and what i said. i wouldn't change who i was or
what you meant to me. the only thing i would
change was the way you felt back.

i really don't think you have any idea
what i would give just to be with you.

True girl, the one that always lost. The one with the fake smile & the girl who seems to be so strong, but daily continues to break. That girl who's always there and seems to have no problems of her own. The one who holds back tears until she's off the phone... that girl that is in love with a guy who doesn't care

she believed in you, even though you led her on.

...because you're not mad, you want to be, but you're not, and when you talk about him your eyes still sparkle.

You can say that you don't miss
me; I think about you everyday.

____________Under this line = by http://www.xanga.com/rockingyourgalaxy_______

so tell, me
is she wonderful,
is she great,
is she amazing?
what does she got that i don't have?

i guess i'm not good enough for love.

maybe i ain't the prettiest girl you've ever met, but i promise you probably won't forget me.

i can sit down with a complete stranger and tell them everything that crosses my mind.
but it hurts to tell the people i care about, because they would never believe i am hurting this much inside.

She began to cry.  Just crying. 
The deep & ugly kind, the kind you lose yourself in,
Thanking God no one has to see how rubbed
& blotched your face becomes,
Though some detatched part of you also wishes
There were someone to see you now.
To understand how sad you are, at heart. 
They don't see it of course,
And you'd never show them.

Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. 
You need to break down and be torn apart. 
You need to learn how to pick yourself up 
&  put yourself back together. 
Sometimes, the only way to be happy is
give in to sadness first.  Becausewithout sadness,
there's no happiness;
You would never learn to smile.

I know how it feels
To be on the edge of your bed,
Your head buried in your hands,
Wishing everything would end.

All my faith is gone, you think I couldn't find it.
Pieces falling down, shattered now, get behind it.
In my mind alone, lost here I'm separated.
Crawl deeper in my hole, safe in here from what I hated.

I can see it now.  Five minutes pass.  Ten minutes now.
He still hasn't called.  I know it'll ruin my night, and
Possibly even my tomorrow.  It's this vicious cycle I go
through every day.  I'll stare at my phone; just stare at
it, hoping that it'll ring.  Hoping that something good will
happen.  But we both know I'm wrong.  Nothing good
Can happen, at least not now...

Sweetheart, you can't bullshit me.  See I've lied to
Myself enough to know when someone else is
Doing it.  So let's try this again, & how about
The truth this time?

Will you walk me
to the edge again?
I'm shaking. I'm lonely,
& I am drinking again.
Woke up tonight
& no one's there with me.
I'm giving into you.

dear diary,

he's killing me.<|3

I fell for his smile & he loved me for a while
& someday he's going to wish
that he hadn't left me like this.

Her life's starting to fall apart
But she holds it all inside
Not wanting to explain or knowing where to start
Just looking for some place to hide

my cell phone has become
less and less important,
because i have noticed
he barely ever calls anymore.

so let's end these conversations,
& i'll give you your congratulations.
you've left me bare and burned out,
with a broken heart and mind.
i heard it all heals in time.

I won't pretend that I intend to stop living.
I won’t pretend I'm good at forgiving,
but I can’t hate you;; although I have tried.
I still really love you & love is stronger than pride.

Sometimes..I still miss you

She's been hurt many times before this.
You'd think it would be routine by now.
You'd think she wouldn't let this get to her.
But the truth is, she trusted you.

somehow you always end up running
through my head don't ask me why ,
after all the lies i don't know why i
still care anymore but somehow i just
can't let go. maybe it's the thought of
you coming back one day but you
better have a clue && realize i have
feelings too, it's not always about you..*

Dear Girl,
I think its time for you to just let go of him. He has hurt you & me too much. Just let the memories fade. It's time to leave him behind. I know it will be hard, but it's for the best, trust me. Just keep trying...
Love always,
Your Heart

IT’S like sometimes you forget

&& you look at me like I’m your world again

 and that you love me again

 like nothing ever changed

and you still wanta marry me and become old together

Those are the moments I hold on to

 & until you stop looking  

at me like that

I can’t give up

*ME GIVE CREDIT*

iTS thE SlEEP fOREVER, cuRL up In bALL anD cRY fOR hOUrS oN ENd kiND of sad...ThE nOT eAT wANtA diE sAd </3*ME AGAIN

&& I have so many questions for you

I miss you & it’s so hard

 I just wish I knew if it’s worth it

*ME AGAIN*

Time doesn't always heal. It just breathes and swallows memories. And when you're holding me we make a pair of parentheses. There's plenty space to encase. Whatever weird way my mind goes, I know I’ll be safe in these arms.

let's be honest.
sometimes there is nothing harder in life
than being happy for somebody else.
- sex and the city.

Love,

Lauren Beth

HUrrTT please comment

Yeah I know it’s been forever and a day and I apologize.

I have a laptop now and it’s summer so I hope I will be better!!

Add me on myspace:: www.myspace.com/laurenbeth09

Oh and yea…these are mostly all sad. If you want something else u mite like the entries before it or just comment me and I will try to include what u want in the next entry.

She's got the eyes of innocence. The face of an angle, the personality of a dreamer. And a smile that hides more pain then you could ever imagine.

The reason i can't move on is because I have nothing to move on to. I gave it all up for you

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be alseep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.

It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and now you can barely look at them.

He turned around, looked right at me, and
said nothing, not even a small "hi." it was
as if the times we had spent together,    the
times i had spent loving him, just weren't
important. it was like it never happened.

My pain has become my closest friend
Im broken in pieces, pick me up again.

“Sometimes there's nothing to feel
Sometimes there's nothing to hold
Sometimes there's no time to run away
Sometimes you just feel so old
The times it hurts when you cry
The times it hurts just to breathe
And then it all seems like there's no-one left
And all you want is to sleep.”

She was a girl that spoke her mind, never  played games, & acted confident when she
could barely stand looking in the mirror. She didn`t gloat of her achievements, or tell of
them even though she had many. She lived  in mistakes, in past regrets, & she`s just
beginning to realize that sometimes you can`t change things, that you can`t  go back in the past & sometimes, you just have to move on cause life`s too short to dwell on the unchangeable.

I want you to know I'm standing outside in the rain, staring up at the
sky, wishing I would drown. I want you to know, that I don’t want to
sleep anymore, just incase I dream of you. I want you to know that I feel
like driving off a bridge tonight if it meant I could get away from
these memories.

QuOTeS tHAT nEED COMmENTS

QuOtES =D cOMMENTS PLEASE!!!

I really can't deny it. I am who I am.
I'm pretty normal. I'm not that smooth
type of girl. I run into things. I trip. I spill
food. I say stupid things. I really don't
have it all together.

Someday, you`re going to meet someone who
drives you mad. who you`re going to fight with
& laugh with & do totally insane things for;
someone who turns your life upside down.

they say they're too young
but maybe they're just too old to remember

People are always talking about how hard
it is to find a good man , but nowadays it's hard
to even find a good person. It's so hard to just
even find a person to talk to, someone who will
just listen and not judge, someone
who will just take you as you are

there are two kinds of people in this world;;
those who play hopscotch && sing in the shower,
&& others who don't k n o w how to enjoy living

did you know that she doesn't care if you
call her and wake her up in the middle of the
night; or early in the morning. she hates arguing
but you know shes good at it. she's terrified of
the dark and gets even more terrified when
something happens that even makes the slightest
possibility that she's gonna lose you. every time
she sees you she can't help but smile. she can't
wait to just run up to you and give you a hug
because to her, that's the best feeling in the
world. yeah i guess you could just say that
she'd do anything for you <3

in this empty world you wait for someone
to save you. and when you find that person,
you depend on them because they understand
you completely & loves you regardless. but when that
person leaves, you're left empty, lost & can only hate
yourself, blaming yourself for them being gone.

love is when you find someone you can
really be yourself with. that you can share
anything with, like a best friend. it's when
you can't even imagine what your life would
be like without that other person. when words
don't even come close to how you really feel
and even though it doesn't make sense to other
people, you know you're meant to be together.

i give up. after all, that's what i do best..*

she's getting to you. you're finding out
that you don't like being without her.
you're feeling exactly how she did.

she's not like that now. she knows better.
she knows now that people lie, and promises
can be broken as quick as they're made. she
understands that she might never be loved,
and too quickly good things fly in front of
her eyes before you can reach out and grab
them. there isn't a place for everyone in the
world, so if you're standing alone for awhile,
that's why. not everything in life comes easy,
but when you work the hardest, that's when
the it's the best. she has found out too soon,
that in the end you are your own best friend.
everyone will be broken at some point in his
or her life, and more often than not, it's going
to hurt like hell. but you can't stop it. you
can't change your fate. some things are meant
to be and all the pain you go through will end
up resulting in something huge. you don't
know what it is, and when it happens, but it
will hit you like a ton of bricks. overtime,
certain things no longer have an effect on
you and that happens because that's the way
it's supposed to be. but you'll learn all that later
in life, when little things like a sunrise or a
spring rain start to matter. but it might catch you
off guard and happen sooner than you
think. i mean ask her. she knows.

Innocence it doesn't come easy,
in a sense it never will.
Accidents mean no one's guilty;
ignorance means someone's killed.

one too many mistakes and look where you
lead her. you watch her walking away, her back
becoming less clear those seconds seemed like
years, and boom she was gone.. only when her
shadow disappeared, you realized you were wrong.

guys aren't worth it she says to herself
but it's obvious that she`ll never be able
to stay away from that || one || boy who
always manages to make her smile <33

people always ask, "do you still like
him?" and honestly, i really don't know. but
there's something aboutt him, i can't let go.

the most wasted day is one in
which we have not laughed. *

i think that if two people are meant to be
together, when they see each other they get
this incredible feeling like no other. a special
feeling that is indescribable and they know that
they want and are supposed to spend the rest
of their life with that person & you just
know. that's love. that's true love.

i saw him staring at me. not glancing,
but blatantly staring. and i wondered if he
was staring at the wreckage he created or if
maybe, just maybe he regretted

ever hurting me in the first place.

do you know that she thinks of you every second
of the day? do you know that she wonders where
you are and if you’re safe? do you know that her
heart is buried in your hands? do you know that
you’re her star, and she’s your number one fan. do
you know what she feels every time you look and smile?
do you know that for you, she’d walk a whole mile?
do you that her love is special and true? if you know all
the following then you know that she loves you.

most girls say they want a fairy tale
But not me that's not really what I want
I want someone who will make fun of me
and laugh at my jokes even if they aren't funny
Someone who will wrestle with me
and not let me win just because I'm a girl
Yeah, riding off into the sunset on a white horse would be nice
but playing thumb-war with someone who cares about you
as much as you care about them .. seems so much better

Life's a bitch,
because if life were a slut,
it would be easy

She was just a girl that had her innocence
taken away from her a little too
early and a little too fast.

Some people live for love & some people live for fame.
But me? No see, I live for my own happiness. So if that
doesn’t cut it for you, well… then I guess that’s too bad.

What's so cool about teasing?
What's so cool about cheating?
What's so cool about fighting?
What's so cool about drugs?
What's so cool about drinking?
What's so cool about rumors?
Every night someone cries cause they were teased.
Every night someone cries cause their bf/gf is cheating on them.
Every night someone cries cause they're in a fight.
Every night someone cries cause their friend died of drug overdose.
Every night someone cries cause their little brother was killed by a drunk driver.
Every night someone cries cause they had a rumor spread about them.
1/2 of those people will look to suicide for an answer.
Do you wanna be the reason?

I wish you knew how much this hurts.
But then again, no, I don’t.
It would be too embarrassing to have you know
that I cry at night, that I wish you were there,
that I pretend I’m holding your hand,
& that I relate all these sad songs to you.

Thanks for being the friend who`s
always believed in me, who`s always
understood, who`s always accepted me,
who`s always cared.

life doesn't hurt until you think about,
how much things have changed.
who you've lost along the way,
and how much of it was your fault.

when you look in his eyes and he's looking
back at yours, everything feels not quite
normal because you feel stronger and weaker
at the same time. you feel excited, and at
the same time, terrified. the truth is you don't
know what you feel except you know what
kind of person you want to be. it's as if you reached
the unreachable and you weren't ready for it.

did you ever notice that there is always
that particular line in that certain song
that always stands out in that certain way
& reminds you of that one person

he's just gorgeous, but gorgeous is an
understatement. it's more like you're startled
every time you see him because you notice
something new in a 'where's Waldo?' kinda
way. it's more like you can't stop writing
run-on sentences because you can't even
remotely begin to describe someone so
incredibly amazing. it's like you're afraid that
if you stare at him too long, you'll prove
your parents right that, yes, your face will
get stuck that way, but you don't mind.

take me past the color of your eyes.
take me from the past of all my mistakes
into where the future lies. i know that my
moods were changing like the weather.
do you ever dream of us together?
now i just want to show you who i am.
holding onto dreams, we collide.

we're just two different people from two
different worlds. we were just trying to find
ourselves in this so called reality. but we
somehow found our way to each other. its like..
he was made for me and i was made for him.
every time we try to run different paths. we
always end up running into each other.
it's like.. he was exactly made for me.

moRe LatER!!

<3 Lauren Beth

Everyone has a weakness,
But I have two:
Everything you say &
Everything you do.

I've never been scared of someone before.
Sometimes maybe a little intimidated,

but never scared. But you, you scare me,
with your beautiful brown eyes
and your amazing smile.
I'm so scared that I will want to love you
forever, and you will want me only
for a few moments in your life.

I wish I had the guts to walk away from what we have,
but I can`t cause I know you won`t follow me,
& that`s what hurts the most.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never
Gonna happen again
You cry alone and then
He swears he loves you.

For once I'm left speechless- nothing to say. I
have no idea what to do. How can you just turn
away? I want so badly to grab your arm and pull
you into my kiss, but what would that fix? =/
I don't know what I did to deserve this..

&& as i stand here looking at you
i wonder if there will ever be a day when
i will get over your smile...
when will i let go of the hugs you gave me
that i continue to feel...
a day when i forget the words you said to me

forget what you meant to me
or forget how much i love you
but no matter what you did to me
or whatever happens to us
i know i could never get over, let go, or forget you

Love is always a good thing no matter how much
it hurts. Even after it`s over, even through the pain,
anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that *
they never regretted a second of it. no matter how
much it hurt in the end. and if you tell me differently,
i`ll just tell you that you were not truly in love.

I want to fxcking tear you apart. i want you to
sit up thinking about me all night. i want you to
suffer. and mourn the loss of what we had.
at all costs, i want you to remember me.

bad luck is my middle name.
& i have hurt me written on my forehead.

how do you leave the past behind,
when it keeps finding ways to get into your heart?

I'm done pretending so here goes ;;
no I'm not okay with the fact that you broke my heart
no I'm not okay with the fact that we don't even talk anymore
&& to top it all off
no I'm not okay with the fact that i fell in love with you in the first place

through all of his faults he somehow completed me
i guess it was selfishness that kept bringing me back for more
but hurting me once wasn't enough for him
&& walking away from me once wasn't enough either
so am i the selfish one for wanting to make myself feel loved?
or is he the selfish one for wanting to cause me more heartache?

I know I've made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life
but the worst one was thinking the person who hurt me the most
wouldn't hurt me again

i never understood real love until you came along
&& i never understood real pain until you left

i miss the way things used to be
i miss how we used to talk everyday
i miss the way you made me laugh
i miss how we laughed everyday
i miss how whenever i talked to you
i'd make you smile that beautiful smile
i miss seeing you everyday around me

i have to see you with her everyday
&& it tears me apart inside
i know i care too much but we can't help who we love
i just wish what I've said to you mattered
i just wish what I've said meant something to you
i just hate seeing you with her
it hurts me too much
I'll never forget it

he's just a boy who doesn't know what's right in front of him
&& she's just a girl who never learned how to let go

does it matter that you're everything to me?
or that every time you lie to me it breaks my heart?
because you sure don't act like it does

remember holding hands?
our fingers locked together...
remember hugging?
i felt so safe in your arms
time stood still
&& it was all about you && me
i'm gonna let these memories fade ok?
they're just too painful to keep holding onto

he has no idea what goes on in her mind
she's so good at pretending
he will never know how many tears
fall each night for him
nor the endless hours that she wastes
thinking, maybe...just maybe

&& the thing that kills me is that
I'm still not over you

sometimes you don't realize
how much you care for someone
until they stop caring for you

she wonders why something so good
could have gone so wrong
because the truth is...
she's still in love with you

& in the end ; love has nothing to do
with how big your engagement ring is,
or how many roses he gets you on
valentine's day or even how many times
he says i love you in a day. all it really
comes down to is that he listens to you
about your dream wedding & he buys you
roses "just because." & even if he only
does say it a few times, when he says
i love you that you can tell in
his eyes that he means forever.

she rolled over & stared into his eyes,
"promise me that you won't ever forget
me again." he kissed her forehead
and said, "i never did."

& i hope when you look in her
eyes, all you see is my reflection.

He's got a Masters in personality,
straight A's in smiles
& a PHD in breaking hearts

you're an asshole but i think i'm
getting used to you. i like that fact
that you talk incessantly. i got a thing
for assholes who tell good stories.
i think that drinking is the only thing you
can do right. you're gonna self-destruct.
i think that's what i like <3

i can't look at his smile.
its unbearably cute. it
gives me butterflies and
i just want to hug him

i love you so deeply,
i love you so much,
i love the sound of your voice
and the way that we touch.
i love your warm smile
and your kind, thoughtful way,
the joy that you bring
to my life every day.
i love you today
as I have from the start,
and I'll love you forever
with all of my heart.

who will look forward to seeing me everyday

I was riding shotgun with my hair
undone in the front seat of his car.
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
and the other on my heart.

baby..it breaks my heart to think that loving me
is not easy to do. & i don't mean to make it hard.
I'm sorry for all the changes I've put you through.
& it's hard to believe that after everything
you're still right here...beside me.

it's not just physical attraction. i love him for
every single thing that he is. every word he
says. every step he takes. this is something
that will never die. i have tried to stay reasonable

with this, but i just can`t anymore. i cant.

She's a disaster.
She loses faith in herself every day.
Her life is a mess and she doesn't even care.
No one understands her.
And people say stuff to put her down and
no one even notices that she might be breaking inside.
Or they never notice that maybe she needs a hug from someone.
Or someone to sit there with her and listen to her.
Maybe thats all she needs...

sometimes.. sometimes you meet somebody
& you know that whatever you did before,
whatever your life was before, it must have been
right. nothing could've been too bad or gone too
far wrong, cause it led you to this person

and ultimately, he's going to find out
how you chew, how you sip, how you
hum, how you dance, how you smell at
every point in the day; the fact that most
of your friends are shallow, that you hate
sitting in an aisle seat, how you sometimes
can't seem to listen, how you get hyper
when you travel, how certain games or
shows make you really happy, how you
get cranky because you're too stupid to
remember to sleep, how you don't like
the way you look in most of your pictures,
how you can't get off the phone when you're
late because you don't want to sound like you
don't care, how you have no ability to save
receipts; he's going to know all of it,
everything about you, he's going to know,
and he's still going to love you.

you know that there's always gonna be
that [one person] who has the upper hand.
no matter how many times they hurt you
you'll always go running back.

But pretty soon,
My diary will get sick
Of hearing his name.

Don't tell me you can't feel

the chemistry.
It's the only thing that makes me

hold on.
You are the best thing

and you don't even know it,
it's like you can never do anything wrong.

being in love isn't what
makes me smile. it's who
im in love with that does<3

you wrapped your arms around me,
pressing your body against mine,
& in that moment of perfection
i knew we were meant to be..
& i never wanted you to let me go

every night before i go to bed,
i turn on the radio & just listen
i listen for the songs that remind
me of you, so i'll go to bed with
nothing but a smile on my face.

and as she eyes him
as she walks down the hall,
his blue eyes glance her way.
coincidence? probably,
except it happens everyday.

give me one more drink and
i swear i'll be ready to make the
same mistakes with you again.

i don't know if it's your smile, your laugh,
or just the way you are that makes me feel like
this, but whatever it is, every time i see you,
i love you more than ever before <3

chances are i'll never get a moment like
this again, so here's everything i ever wanted
to tell you. no one has ever gotten me like you.
i've never found anyone who makes me laugh
like you. you're the one person who i can
honestly see myself happy with - the
definition of love to me is you <3

you wanna know what the truth is?
i still love you, and i probably will love you for
a very long time. but i can't just be your buddy,
because as much as i enjoy the concept of
being, "just friends", in reality it's a bizarre form
of torture. and i'm not willing to participate in it.
so right now what i want to do is just move on
and get over you and the only way for me to
do that is not to be around you anymore.

after memorizing his schedule
looking at his pictures
thinking about him all day and night
i think i have to admit
i might just be falling for him

I want sunshine, & beach hair, & the smell of coconuts & salt water & sand all over. I wanna drive 90 with all the windows down, & float in the pool. I wanna party with my best friends. I wanna watch fireworks & lie on the front lawn looking at the stars. I want an adventure every day. I want the morning after around a kitchen table, laughing about the night before, I want the next day with my friends on the front porch.
I want SUMMER.

More soon I swear!!

Love Always,

Lauren Beth

qUOtEs! <3

Some of these quotes were from when me and my boyfriend were together and when we were seperated! ENJOY!

make your move boy,
before shes gone.
cause people change,
and hearts m o v e o n.

Just because I don`t pick up the
phone on the first ring
doesn`t mean I wasn`t waiting
by the phone.

She`s a summer girl. She likes things simple & she hates drama. She wishes that she could wear flip-flops year round & she hates being cold. She`s moody during the winter cause things are usually falling apart. But then summer comes, & it always does. & she realizes that she has true friends, & that nothing can beat those summer days & nights that are spent with the waves crashing & the sand between her toes.

I don`t plan on marrying you, I`m not naive. I`m fifteen & I`m in love. but I`m not ready to lose you yet..not now..not like this..cause I need you..& I know you need me too..

Maybe you're just scared, that he feels the same way about you, again.
You're scared the same thing will happen all over again.
He'll love you, then hurt you. Just like last time.
But how can you be so sure? How do you know he didn't change?
You won't know. -- Unless you take a chance. <3

Sometimes, you have to forgive people.
Because you know you need them
back into your life again.x3

2 People who have liked each other, loved each other,
Broken up with each other, fought with each other,
And still loved each other after it all -
Deserve to be together . No matter what anyone says.

I met him I liked him I loved him
I had him I lost him I miss him ♥

I know you're busy now,
always doing your own thing,
but I still hope it's you
whenever the phone rings <3

there's something about
this boy - he can make
her so mad but she can
turn around and give him
the biggest smile.

i miss the old days. the days when
you'd call me every night just to say
goodnight & remind me for the
100th time that you loved me. the
days when you'd call me at the end
of a school day when i went home
sick just to check & see if i was
feeling better, & to tell me that
you missed me. the days when you'd
walk me to my classes, even if it meant
going totally out of your way because
you knew it made me happy. the
days you trusted me enough to tell me
anything & everything & neither
of us would hold anything back. the
days when you'd do anything in your
power to make me laugh when i had
tears running down my face. but i guess
most of all, the days when you looked
at me & smiled as if i was the
greatest thing on earth.

everyone tells me, "oh my
gosh, just get over him!"
so what am i supposed to
do? just wake up one day
& stop loving the guy i could
never imagine living without?

I really want to call you,
but I know that it's not right;
I probably shouldn't tell you
that I dreamt of you last night.

&& thats exactly why she
shouldn't give her heart away

hearts in her notebook. daydreams.
twirling her hair. face it, she's
got the love bug. & she's got it bad.

i'm slowly starting to realize this isn't ever
going to end because every time you pass
me by i'm thinking "here we go again.."

So tell me boy. Am i really the one you want?
If you're lucky i might just fall for your tricks
like all those other stupid girls did.

oh boo hoo. you have a sob story. we all have a sob story.
don't think you are so special or different just because you are hurting.
because you wanna know a secret? WE ARE ALL HURTING
some just hide it better than others </3

i sat in front of my television and cried.
cried because i lost you.cried because
every single promise you made every
single thing you said kept replaying in my
head and i wanted them all to come
true but because you weren't
mine, they never would.

she sat for hours, wondering what she had
done. to deserve any of this pain that she
was feeling; wondering what she had done
to make him go away; wondering what
she had done to make
him want to break her heart in two.

And everyday i'm losing hope.
And each minute that passes by
gives me another reason to give up

I can`t handle being friends with you right now.
it`s not completely cause of what you did to us, to me.
but you`re a constant reminder to me of what I did to myself.
i chose to believe you, believe every word that came out of your mouth.
& i wouldn`t be sitting here with mascara staining my cheeks
if i didn`t believe you. so when it`s easier to blame you,
i know that i`m the one to blame for my own broken heart.

When there's something you really
want in life, fight for it...don't give
up, no matter how hopeless it seems.
Even when you've lost all hope, years
from now you're gonna look back and
wish you gave it one more shot because
the best things in life don't come for free.

`

before i didn't want it.
now i can't have enough.
you've got my heart addicted,
and it's all i'm dreaming of.

his favorite color's green

he likes to argue,

his sister's beautiful,

he has his fathers eyes

and if you asked me if i love him,

i'd lie.

Dear boy,
I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.
Even though this is the best i can be. I'm
sorry I have problems. I'm not perfect, please
don't hate me. I'm sorry I gave you my love.
I guess you didn't want it. I'm sorry you tore
out my heart and ripped it to peices. I'm sorry
you broke my heart.. The sharp pieces must
have cut you somehow. I'm sorry I cared about
you so much, when you forgot all about me..
I guess you were too busy caring about
someone else. I'm sorry for putting you
through everything, and it came out to
nothing. I'm sorry for crying my eyes out
when you were too busy hating me. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you had to meet me and suffer
through my un-wanted love. I'm really very sorry.

girl: She's pretty, but she's not drop dead gorgeous

boy: Oh, so she doesn't look like you<3 <3

--mine...actual convo. =)

so they locked themselves in his car, got lost in
each other's eyes. & sang to the radio. he whispered
in her ear & she'd laugh at his silly jokes, even if
they were pointless. he'd grab her hand & not
let go. he had no idea how happy it made her.
she'd rest her head on his shoulder, close her
eyes, listen to their song while he kissed her
forehead. she memorized the touch of his lips. she
didn't want to leave anytime soon. it would be 3
in the morning, but they'd still be tangled in each
other. she knew he was something special. it
was different how he moved her because when
he told her 'goodnight', it still felt like 'hello'.

She just smiles because she knows
the world will never really understand her,
but she doesn't mind; it doesn't matter.
She's happy anyway.

She`s never been one to wait around ;;
she`s always moving & dancing & running.
But for some reason, with him?
She`s patient. She`ll wait.
She`ll wait for no one & nothing, except him.

You need to live the life you want to live,
FORGET what everyone else wants of you,
be the person you would be proud of.
Make decisions, make mistakes
and if you fall, you fell because you tried.

Thinking of you is what brings a smile to my face.
Dreaming of you is what makes my heart race.
Looking into your eyes makes me fall even more,
but simply being with you is what I live for.

Lately I`ve been thinking about the ups & downs we`ve been through together & how we almost lost our ground. We held on long enough to see all the good out weigh the bad. & I`m thankful, so grateful for everything we have. But for a moment I thought I lost everything. For a moment I forgot about our memories.Then I woke up & I realized how much you mean to me. For a moment I thought I lost you & me

she won't call you.
you have to call her. she won't come talk
to you... you should go talk to her. she's not
going to let you act stupid and act like she likes it.
you should just be normal around her.
when you're with a group of friends, she isn't going
to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to.
you need to come up behind her and wrap your arms
around her and her friends get jealous. she loves you
more than you can imagine, no matter how much she
doesn't show it. but you boy, you need to show her
how much you love her so she isn't afraid to show it back

she's been hurt by you too many times before
yet somehow she manages to forgive you
just wait, one day she won't come back

take no one for granted
because the truth is
no one waits forever <3

girl: I just want him to have a better girlfriend than what I am

boy: There is no better than you.

--by me* aCtuaL cONvo.

you know, she really did love you.
more than anyone else, but you
just let her walk into your life and
walk right back out. boy, you missed
your chance, because nobody will
ever love you like that girl did,
so go get yourself screwed over by
one of those sluts, who have a new
boyfriend every week, because that
girl. that girl, doesn`t care anymore.

Love. It's truly unexplainable.

It's that feeling you get when he touches you,

even if it's just to push you out of the way.

It sends shivers up your spine.

It messes you up, gets inside your head

until all you can think about is him and suddenly,

It's those glances that you share.

You know, the ones where you look at him,

he looks at you and you look away.

Love doesn't always work out.

Love is blind. Love is stupid.

and that's when you realize he's the boy you're crazy for.
the one who makes you laugh on the worst days.
he's not perfect, but neither are you.
sometimes he's dorky, but he's your dork.
he kisses you in the rain and dances with no music,
even though he knows it's cliche.
he made you realize it is possible to have permanent butterflies
every love song makes sense because of him,
because he loves you, and you love him.

our song is the slamming screen door
sneaking out late, tapping on his window..
when we're on the phone and he talks real slow
cause it's late and his mama don't know
our song is the way he laughs
the first date;

"man, i didn't kiss him, and i should have"
and when i got home, before I said amen
asking God if he could play it again

Your hands are on me and I'm pressing hard
against your jeans, your tongue in my mouth
trying to keep the words from coming out

How come all I'm making is effort,
& all you're making is excuses?

little girl, don't grow up so fast,
all those carefree times won't last.
You see in beautiful colors
green && gold
but things change as you grow old.
soon those colors start to
f a d e
&& you'll have problems
day after day.
you think losing a toy will bring you down,
losing a loved one will turn you around
So little girl just have fun,
try to stay young, little one.

in your life you will meet one guy unlike
any other.. you can talk to him & never get
bored.. tell him everything & never get judged..
smile & get butterflies every time you see his
face.. hear his name or voice¦ this person is
a best friend¦ boyfriend¦or true love.

you take my hand,
you pull me close and i understand.
it's the sweet love that you give to me.
that makes me believe
that we can make it through anything.
cause when it all _{comes down}
and I'm feeling like I'll never last.
i just lean on you,
cause baby you're my better half.

you don`t just "fall in love"
there`s a lot more to it..
first you get distracted
second, you begin to stumble
third, you try to catch balance
& then you fall & hit the ground
& finally, you realize no one`s there to help you up.
so you wipe it off, fake a grin, & stand.

She just wishes she had the
courage to tell him everything.

And she fell asleep with her headphones on; mascara
running down her cheeks while listening to
the song that reminds her of him <3

Let go of what kills you.
And hold onto what
keeps you breathing.

i sit in my room every night
thinking about him, at the
same time, he sits on his bed
thinking about her

I love you. Not maybe, not tomorrow,

not someday, right now, at this very moment.

And I realized something, I need you, I trust you,

I admire you, I want you. And you can be wrong a lot of the time,

and we can fight, and get mad at each other,

but nothing, nothing in this world

and she starves herself to be pretty
to look like everyone thinks they should
but all those magazines are wrong, because
they don't know the first thing about real

Judge me and i'll prove you wrong.
Tell me what to do and i'll tell you off.
Say i'm not worth it and watch where i end up.
Call me a witch and i'll show you one.
Screw me over and i'll do it to you, but twice as bad.
Go ahead and call me crazy, but you really have no idea.

Life is like photography,
we develop from negatives.

She finally let go of her fake smile and the tears slowly rolled down
her cheek as she whispered to herself "I don't want to be me"

That's All For This Update,

Lauren Beth